About Anita

When my daughter Leah passed away my world ended.  At least the world as I knew it.  Leah was a beautiful, tender-hearted, sassy five year old who could steal your heart and question your sanity all at the same time.  Leah died from Meningitis within twenty-four hours of her diagnosis.  When she got sick, it was so sudden and so unexpected we were plunged into a pool of despair faster than I could catch my breath.  Death is a thief that takes more than our loved one, it takes our security, our normal, and our future.  I thought at the time that I would die along with her from the raw pain, but every day I woke up to face it again and again. 

At the time, I searched desperately for support to help me find my way through my new norm and the pain that came with it.  I often came up empty-handed and the loneliness in my journey added to my grief.  Loved ones tried to help but the things they said and the pressure they unknowingly added to feel better quickly created more pain.  My church tried to be there but the same empty platitudes came and made me feel like I was failing because I was too slow in getting my life back to normal. The truth was, my life did end the day Leah died.  The life I was living, the life I knew, was gone.  But I was still here, needing to create a new normal, needing to be a mom to my precious daughter Madeleine, needing to live a new life without her. 

I buried my pain and was ‘strong’ for everyone around me while I silently suffered.  My life began to unravel around me as secondary losses hit one after the other.  A failed adoption, family upheaval, divorce, and loss of my career followed.  I hit rock bottom and felt ashamed at my inability to cope as everything seemed to fall apart with nowhere to turn.  I could no longer do it on my own.

The first step I took was to begin to share my grief and the pain of my loss.  I had bottled it up and stuffed it to be strong but the truth was, I was struggling.  I began to share my pain with others, found a support group, reached out to my friends, and found a way to trust God again.  As I faced my losses and supported my pain, healing began. 

As I began to heal, I wanted to share with others what I have learned on this journey so the misconception that we have to do this alone can end.  After earning a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Religious Studies from Moravian College, I went on to complete a Master of Arts Degree in Human Services Counseling with a concentration in Marriage and Family Therapy and earned a certification as a Life Coach. I hold an accreditation with ICF the International Coaching Federation and I was a certified SAP Counselor with Montgomery County. I live every day with my loss, but healing can be found.  The pieces of your life can be put together. Not as they were, because they shouldn’t be, but as a mosaic of the love and pain that coexist in this new life. Loss is real, grief is real, but so is love. And that is what I wish to share with you.  You are not alone, your pain matters, and there is hope.